would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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