You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
