I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
