She said her name was "party"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
