Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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