the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
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I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
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I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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