You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
