Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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