This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
