4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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