I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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