are you so shy because you have an std?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize