where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
