If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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