At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
