i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
