mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize