Can Purell be used as lube?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
