wrigley field is MILF paradise
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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