My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
