i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
well you can't waste a boner
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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