Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
