She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
