My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
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Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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