This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
