Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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