butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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