She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
