we have officially lost it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize