I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
