oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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