I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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