I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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