Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
