I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
