I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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