My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
