at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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