his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
