so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
