farters have to be the big spoon...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
