Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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