I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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