I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Im part way to drunk.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
