the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
