My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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