i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
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he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
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Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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