I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
