Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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