I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
