Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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