Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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