The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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