do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
