Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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