Need sex. Gaining weight.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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