I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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