I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
