It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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