im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
