Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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