I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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