sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
