I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
