I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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