half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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