hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
