Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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