Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
